in-vest-ed-at-41

I kept the vest look easily attainable by layering it with a white button down because you can never go wrong with this combination. Next time I wear it, I’m going to pair it with a camel colored turtleneck underneath and cullotte jeans. I wanted something a little more dressed up and so I paired it with high waisted khaki trousers and accessorized with one of my favorite hats from Urban Outfitters and gold heels from Zara (these are sold out) that I purchased in Barcelona.

Peek the plastic rings and mini purse that are majorly trending for spring! It’s a cute way to get into the seasonal trends!

Now that we’ve talked shop, let’s talk birthdays because this gal right here, just celebrated the big 4-1, which also sounds like an Adele album, but sadly I don’t have the pipes.

41.

It’s a mixed bag for me, 41. It came and comes with a lot of emotions tied to it. Birthdays, as you get older, tend to become a harder. Yes, I am thankful and hashtag very blessed for another trip around the sun. It’s a gift and I don’t take it for granted, but there are some heavy feelings that come with birthdays for many people. On top of that, my mom died at the age of 41, and to be at the age where she stopped living, feels surreal, for so many reasons.

When we are young, we think our parents are old, right? Well, here I am, at the age my mom was when she passed and all I can think and repeat to myself is, “Gosh she was SO young.” I am young. I feel vibrant, full of life, with so many things I want to do and accomplish, surrounded by a great family and awesome friends, and I feel ALIVE. She was me- where I am right now, and gosh, am I struck by that. She was robbed of so much life, potential, and memories that her and I could have shared together; of her meeting her grandbabies and getting to spoil them. We could have continued to share clothes and shoes and called one another or texted when I needed her.

She was 41. The age I am now and I think of her so much it hurts. I am thankful of the gift to live my life and the ability to bring her along with me; to get to do the things that she would have wanted to do, but now, I get to do them for both of us. I remember this when I get sad or upset. I wish she were here, but if I can find a way to keep her alive in what I do, what I see, what I experience, I will do just that. I will take her with me on my journey as I have done all these years.

I’m going to turn 41 around. I’m going to allow myself to feel all the feels. The feeling of shock, the feeling of sadness, anger, and grief. You don’t push those down. Those are the feelings that help you grow and find light and hope and all the wonderful things that are still left for you to do and experience. I’m focusing on that. I’m going to relish in the happy feeling. I’m focusing on keeping her memory alive and finding joy in things that she would have loved to do- traveling, being with her babies, going shopping, going to concerts, laughing with friends, and living.

41, you are going to be magical. I feel it already.

In Style,

Kathy