Insta-fam. I need a minute.
Have you all ever felt like that? A much needed reprise from the day to day, a moment to just come up for air? I feel like we all hit or hopefully just tap that wall, before we need to reign it in and say, ‘whoa, nelly. let’s take a break.’ I think I’ve ‘tapped’ that wall. Better that than hitting it! It’s usually not one thing that gets you to that point. It’s a culmination of things/events/instances, and I know as women, we tend to pile on a lot, and I mean a lot, because we’re magical creatures, duh. Though we also need to remember that we are human too and it’s okay to slow it down and take a minute.
My life is one big happy chaos of juggling and planning and running around because 1) im a mom 2) im a working mom 3) did I mention i’m a mom 4) all of the above. I don’t mind it at all, it gives me joy but it also makes me super f$%^ tired. One of the big lessons I’ve learned in the last couple of years and continue to work on, is realizing that overpacking my schedule or having 1000 to do items on my list doesn’t necessarily make me productive. It actually just drains me. I’ve learned to check in with myself and say, ‘You need a break, K. Shut it down.,’ and i’ve been so good at listening to my body and my mind when it comes to that.
I’m a super planner, which is a blessing and a curse. Ive always been meticulously organized and time efficient and I think because of my anxiety and past trauma, planning and ‘being in control’ is something that gives me a sense of stability, even though we all know that theres very little we can control. So to-do lists, being over-productive, and planning every detail, brings me great pleasure…..but, also great anxiety when things don’t go as planned. Hence, my new welcomed approach of taking a step back. It’s done wonders. Sometimes, we all need to disconnect, refuel, and maybe just watch a little mindless tv, or sit on the couch for 15 minutes doing absolutely nothing but closing our eyes.
For the past month, I’ve also been single parenting since Coco is away in NY for work. We’ve done this once before last year. For six months, he was away and I was the sole parent here with the kids juggling school, work, bedtimes, activities, events, etc. You catch my drift. He would come down every three weeks or so or we would go up so there was a nice balance and honestly, one I fell very easily into. That’s not to say there were times I needed to come up for air because I was overwhelmed.
So here we are again, and while he is not able to come down just yet (we will be going up soon to visit), I’m managing the home life pretty well. Most of the times it’s great days, and sometimes they are a little more challenging, but that’s okay, because we get it done and we push forward and doing lots of learning along the way. The pandemic has also taught me to just take things one day at a time and to ease up a lot on planning or over doing it. The moment I start to feel overwhelmed, that’s my cue. That’s my body telling me to stop, and take a minute. Whether it’s canceling a plan or just realizing that something doesn’t have to get done at that exact moment. And that’s okay. I need to come up for air. Not just for my sanity but for my overall well-being. Plus, no one likes cranky mommy.
So today, I’m taking my own sage advice and coming up for air. Disconnecting, you may say. The kids and I are enjoying a media overnight at a local hotel and we plan to just watch tv, enjoy the pool, eat, and basically relax with a little change of scenery. It will do us all a lot of good!
Tell me, how do you disconnect? How do you know it’s time to turn off the engines and refuel?