It still feels pretty surreal that today, May 15th, marks nine weeks of quarantine. I physically went to a calendar and counted the days, and yet even with proof, I’m in disbelief. This blogpost can turn into a whole smorgasbord of covid/social distancing/quarantine ramblings, so I’m going to keep it as a check in; a ‘how you doin?’ sort of post.
So how are WE doing over here in the Buccio household? Alive and well so yay for that. Sanity wavers depending on the day and challenges. Some days are awesome, seriously. No sarcasm here. After nine weeks, we’ve settled into our quarantine routine and it’s kind of nice. We wake up (at 11 most days), the kids do schoolwork (or whatever we call that these days. Sometimes I call that Disney Plus), Coco makes breakfast, I clean and do laundry, answer emails, probably take out the broom or vacuum again at some point, eat lunch, go out and get some physical activity in around the neighborhood or a park, come back home, Coco cooks, we watch some movie we’ve seen 10000 times already like Jurassic World, have meltdowns over bedtime (every. single. day), and then Coco and I stay up until some absurd hour watching Netflix. And in between all of this, there are tantrums, negotiations, silly arguments to be diffused (like, ‘she doesn’t want to play with me!’ or ‘I don’t want him in the room when I’m playing with my LOLs)’, and lots and lots of exhaustion.
You know what else there is though? Brace yourself for the cheesy part. There’s togetherness. There’s a huge load of cuddling, and kisses, and smothering. There’s a whole lot of Tik Tok dances that score me extra cool mom points. There are bike rides, bubble baths, classic movie nights, arts and crafts, board games, and family walks, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.
Yes, there are times I’m annoyed, frustrated, and at the end of my rope and I want to cry, but that’s when I try to remember that this isn’t easy for the little ones either. While Rocco is living his best life in quarantine (he’s so content with his toys, his tv shows, and eating snacks), Maya definitely has her moments. She misses her friends. She misses going to school. She misses being able to hug her friends, grandparents, and she misses getting on a plane to see her cousins and her family. She’s also resilient and understanding of the situation, which makes me proud but also breaks my heart. I try to incorporate some social distance playdates with the same 2-3 friends and she’s very thankful for that. I set up facetime with other friends and she looks forward to those as much as I look forward to amazon packages. She’s doing the best she can and I have to remember that this is a new normal for her too; not just me.
Coco and I check in with one another too. We both handle stress in different ways and whenever I see certain signs or behaviors, and vice versa, we do a check-in. There are days we are completely cool, accepting of whatever THIS is, knowing full well that there is little to nothing we can do about the unknown and we take things day by day and live in the now. Sometimes it doesn’t work that way, and all those ‘what ifs’ start catching up to you. That’s when I have to redirect. Not being able to control things is a huge trigger for my anxiety so as you can imagine, this pandemic is one BIG unknown; but I come equipped with awareness. I work hard to learn and accept that yes, it is scary not to know what is going to happen tomorrow, or a week from now, or two months from now; but, I can either worry myself into a panic attack, or I can ride the wave of uncertainty knowing that no matter what, we will be okay.
At the end of the day, all that matters to us is that our kids are healthy and safe and that they know that they have two parents that adore and love them and will do anything to protect them, even in times of uncertainty even when they themselves don’t know whats going on. And I’ll say this- when this is all said and done, and we get back to some sort of normal (whatever that may be), we will look back at this time and count our blessings. I’ll be grateful for the quarantine days where I laughed at silly dances and never-ending stories or cried because I felt like a shitty parent because all I wanted to do was sit alone in a bath tub to get away from everyone in my house. I am thankful for all those moments, and for the people that I’m safe at home with.