Say hello to the first blogpost of 2020! We are 14 days in and I hope that so far the year has been treating you kindly, that you are positively vibing, and setting some amazing intentions for the new year.
I’ve written in the past how I’m more for bettering oneself and setting intentions, rather than making resolutions that can somehow feel more like pressure than positivity. Intentions, I feel, set the path for moving forward and creating change and growth and doing it at a more relaxed with less pressure and expectations.
A big life change at the end of 2019 set the course for my outlook and intentions for 2020. At the end of September, my husband, Coco, got a fantastic job opportunity for a freelance gig in New York. When he got the call, he was on a plane the next day. That meant I would be staying in Miami working and taking care of the kids alone. I was embarking on a commuter marriage. The plan would be to see each other every two weeks, FaceTime, phone calls (which everyone knows me knows I hate the phone so this is definitely a big one for me) and since we were in the stretch of the holidays, that would mean longer visits to be together.
It’s definitely not the most ideal situation, but it’s also not the worst. I’m also proud of the marriage we continuously work on, that allows us to be able to ride this wave until we figure out what comes next. The tough part is the kids. The kids, especially Maya, miss him, and he hates being away from them. It’s part of the sacrifice for now, that will hopefully lead to a greater good.
Pretty significant change, huh? That brings me to my intentions of 2020. First and foremost, I intend to be more grateful. We talk and preach about gratefulness, and I’m not saying we aren’t, or at least that I’m not, I’m saying to really really feel the things we are grateful for and put them in the universe. I want to continue to live my life in a state of gratefulness. I am grateful for the work (sometimes exhausting) that Coco and I put into our marriage and for the example we set for our kids. I want to remember that gratefulness when it’s not so easy to love, or forgive, or move past a silly fight. I want to remember the why and I want to focus on the good, even on those days when things don’t seem to be going your way and you think it’s gone to shit. Focus on the tiny pockets of good. It’s a lot easier said than done, but it’s doable.
I want to lead by example- something as simple as being kind to someone else, helping others without expecting anything in return (our kids are paying attention), and as a parent, patience. I intend to continue to work on that one! I think every parent probably is on the same boat. Sometimes when I stop and think that my kids see me as their whole world, I get teary and I get goose bumps. It makes me hold them closer and tighter and protect them from the world. I remember that they are learning to express themselves, they are coming in to who they are, which is probably amazing and scary as heck for them, and when I notice the impatience creep up because they’re moving slowly, or telling me a story for the 100th time, or throwing epic tantrums in the school parking lot, I need to put that patience and all those breathing tools into play.
I intend to give myself more credit than I do, and I intend to stop minimizing my undertakings. Being away from Coco and holding down the fort with two kids, while working, juggling the day to day, house, unexpected curve balls, while still keeping a routine and normalcy, without little to no help, is definitely hard and exhausting. Am I doing it? Yes. Do I feel like a rockstar? Yes. Do I feel like crying sometimes? Yes. Do I miss my husband? Yes. But am I happy I don’t have to clean after him? lol Also yes. I’m a bag of emotions over here, but you know what, I’m happy, and I’m doing a pretty good job at it and it IS a lot of work, and I should give myself credit. I’m doing it perfectly imperfect. My kids laugh, cry, give me hugs, throw tantrums, eat vegetables, miss a bath, snuggle with me, do homework, drive me nuts, but they are happy, and at the end of the day, that fuels my next intention, which is probably the hardest and most important…
BE IN THE MOMENT, and there are plenty of times that I have to stop- redirect my priorities or what I am doing at that second and put that one into play, because I don’t want to miss the present and living in the now.
These intentions are a work in progress, just like we, as humans, are a work in progress. Maybe Buddha was right. What we think, we become. Set realistic and positive intentions that help you grow and evolve a little every day. We need to remember to be nicer to ourselves, to one another even when we don’t want to, and more importantly, to take a moment and thank God for our gifts, no matter how small.