There’s a reason why red is the color of the season! It’s bold, it’s loud, it’s confident! Is there something that you wear that makes you feel confident? What is it about this color that just automatically makes you feel like you’re a rock star walking on water (or basically, Beyonce)? Red commands attention. It makes a statement and it means you want to be seen and be acknowledged. Want to take it to to the next level? Dip yourself in red from head to toe, like I did when I recently went back home to NYC and took a photographic stroll with my photographer, Lauren, in the Village. I can’t tell you how many compliments I got on this look while covering fashion week shows. I was thisclose to jumping on that runway because I was feeling oh so good and confident! You could read it on my face! There was that extra sparkle. Confidence to me is also a pop of red lipstick. It’s an instant mood changer, and why not flaunt it some more with this all-red H&M ensemble?! Red is a big hit for fall, as are ruffles. Carmen Miranda your way into the season with ruffles upon ruffles on your next outfit- just make sure its red!
We covered the clothes and now its time to cover the soul. Let’s go deep and have a confident conversation.
A few weeks ago while I was organizing Maya’s homework packet for school, I started thinking about confidence. Here I am, looking through this little girl’s classwork, and she’s only five, hoping I’m doing the best job possible in instilling a sense of pride, confidence, and self-love in her mind and body. As a mother and as a woman, I do feel it is my job to equip her with the best tools I possibly can, and to constantly remind her of how awesome she is, how smart she is, and how kind she is, even if and when she reaches a threshold of doubt.
How early in our life, does confidence begin to form? Are we born with it (no relation to the cliche commercial)? Is it something that begins to take shape in early childhood or adolescence? The word ‘confidence’ encompasses so many different things to so many and I believe it is cyclical depending on where you are in life. There are those that confidence never wavers. Some are faced with the challenge of trying to find a healthy balance between confidence and self-esteem. Having confidence is a high like no other, but when you lack it for whatever reason or for whatever time, it can make you feel downright miserable and empty.
I consider myself a pretty confident person. My friends joke I have ‘bullet-proof’ self-esteem. That didn’t happen overnight. The events in my life have absolutely determined my growth in confidence, and at times, my decline. Everything from being an honor roll student and doing well in school to the death of my mother, have been factors in my confidence. Little things with big worth like being a helpful individual or being a good friend or a good wife, are jolts of confidence boosters for my soul. Moving to New York, fighting for what I want, getting what I want, and not letting anything or anyone deter me from my goals, no matter how arduous they seemed, shaped my confidence. Becoming a mother really cemented my confidence in so many ways- talk about a roller coaster! Then there are those moments that make you question your confidence. Am I doing a good job as a parent? Am I being a good romodel? Do I still have what it takes in my career? Will I be able to coexist amicably with my anxiety? Am I doing this whole life thing right? There are no answers to some of these and that’s when confidence kicks in- that’s where I get my answer. Confidence is resilience and I’ve proven to myself again and again, that I am resilient. I’m confident because I know that when I set my mind on doing something, look out world, because I’m getting it done. It’s knowing that I’m a fucking great parent, but that I also have bad days, and that’s perfectly okay. Confidence is making shit happen. It’s putting on my favorite red lipstick, messy hair, and strutting out into the world like, “look at me. you should know me.” It’s taking it one day at a time believing that you are capable of absolutely anything and everything. It is trusting in God, when sometimes its hard to do so because you don’t get why things are happening.
Above all, it’s loving who you are and realizing that you are an awesome human being.
What does confidence mean to you? I wanted to find out- and who better than some of my closest friends and followers. To read all these responses was extremely inspiring! I love the honesty, the positivity, and the motivation in each of these personal definitions. Confidence is not just one thing. It can be physical, mental, and emotional. Heck, its pretty much a combination of these or all three! Confidence is that good juju and it looks like we’re all trying to live our best life with a very important ingredient- CONFIDENCE!
As to how early confidence starts to become a topic of thought and conversation, well, just ask the little ones! I didn’t want to exclude our tiny philosophers from this blog experiment so I asked a group of kids what confidence meant to them. It also turned out to be a great little exercise in communication between parents and kiddos, and that, is always a good thing!
Go on, read below and get inspired!
Confidence is sexy. It’s caring for yourself and showing others that you are comfortable in your own skin. – Viviana
I seldom have it. –Rachel
Confidence is not being afraid of what others think…especially when it comes to taking risks in your career. – Tiffanie
Trust builds confidence. Trusting yourself to do/say what is on your mind or to express how you feel builds confidence. Surrounding yourself with people you trust where you can be honest, builds confidence. And you can therefore take that confidence and build upon it in a wider audience. – Sheila
Confidence is the ability to be yourself. Your true, unfiltered self and being able to stand by that. – Maureen
Confidence is seeing the good in yourself through all the imperfections. – Becky
Firm belief in myself and others. Confidence means helping others become better versions of themselves. Confidence means promoting love and support. – Karla
Confidence to me is carrying myself with grace, style, and positivity! And that no matter what, I feel proud and beautiful, even when others try to tell me otherwise! And that my confidence is so bright and full, I share it with others and it rubs off on them. – Lydia
Confidence is when a person (or any creature, for that matter) believes in himself or herself and truly believes he/she can achieve whatever they set themselves to do. It requires one to have value themselves. When someone is confident, they are able to take risks and achieve things that having any self-doubt would limit them from doing. When a person is confident, they don’t care what obstacles or criticisms come their way, they go one being their merry self because they know they’re awesome! – Jenise
Being confident is finding strength in vulnerability. – Carmen
Finding confidence and having confidence can be tough sometimes, but its about pulling through, putting your best foot forward and just going for it. Go big or go home. –Claudia
Confidence to me is wearing a bomb pair of shoes that sound like power when they hit the ground. Its my bad ass bounce. – T
It means that I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, will have bad days, but no matter what comes my way, I will overcome it, make the best of it, and keep smiling! – Yamile
Confidence is trust, especially when there’s no safety net to catch you. –Kristine
Confidence is an individual’s feeling of being sure or certain of oneself ..that creates an inner positive drive in believing they can accomplishing or tackle any task. – Gina
Little voices, BIG impressions!
Confidence is believing in yourself and trusting yourself. It means to concentrate when the teacher tells you to so you can do your work. – Maya, 5
Confidence is trusting in God. –Gaine, 7
It means believing in yourself. – Drew, 5
Confidence is being happy about what you are doing and not being scared. –Emma, 9
Confidence is doing rainbow writing the way my teacher wants me to, and putting my hand up when the teacher asks who could do the pins safely. – Sarah, 5
Confidence means I feel good about something. –Kaitlyn, 7
Confidence is being kind and standing up for people. It means helping people up when they feel down. – Reagan, 8
Confidence is that you believe in yourself. To be strong and know that you can do it. Be brave. It means you’re nice. Confidence means you can do it and then doing it, like when I say I’m going to ride without training wheels and I do it. –Lucy, 6