|Meet Rocco Skeletor. Boo!|
Well hello there, squeezers! I hope you are all having a great week!
I’m 21 weeks and I have the belly to prove it! I was comparing photos of my belly when I was pregnant with Maya and my belly now, and I’m definitely carrying differently. With Maya, my belly was big all around. With Rocco, I look like a swallowed a bowling ball because it’s tiny and it sits high right below my chest. Both are so cute in their own special way and it’s true what they say- every pregnancy is different, not just in terms of cravings or how you physically and mentally feel, but also in the way you carry and look.
Yesterday we went back to the hospital to finish Rocco’s anatomy sonogram. We had to finish getting a few measurements and we are happy to report that everything continues to look great! He’s measuring 14oz and we got a few shots of him yawning, putting his arms behind his head, and stretching his legs against my wall. Of course, I couldn’t resist asking the technician for a 3D glimpse. She was hesitant at first, telling me that the fetus looks a bit skeletal this early in the game, but if you know me and my very aggressively persistent personality, I got her to give me a quick look! It’s a decent shot, not the best, since the placenta was covering half his face, but you can see a bit of the lips, a little of the nose, and a clear shot of one of the arms. I don’t care if he looks like Skeletor, he’s still delicious and creepy cute!
This past weekend was my sister-in-law’s bachelorette party in Miami so Coco, Maya, and I, got a triple dose of Buccio sisters and it was awesome (Maya joined us after school at the pool and one night for dinner)! My baby bump and I laid out by the pool, did some swimming in the ocean (and by swimming I mean I just sat in the sandbar like a baby beached whale), drank countless virgin pina coladas, and had some mouth-watering dinners all weekend! Between Rocco and my newly acquired food baby, I was plump and content. It was glorious! Even more glorious was getting to go back to the hotel all by myself and passing out on a fluffy queen bed (the perks of being pregnant)! Not getting smashed in the face by a toddler’s extremities or having a plastic baby doll jammed against my ribcage, was a welcomed treat. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade an uncomfortable night’s sleep with Maya for anything in this world, but having a few days of ‘cease fire’ at bedtime was a dream.
|Shooting with NBC 6 in the Mix at Tutti Bambini in South Miami.|
This afternoon, I had the pleasure of shooting a segment with the NBC 6 show, 6 in the Mix, at baby concierge boutique, Tutti Bambini http://www.tutti-bambini.com. Host, Roxy Vargas and I, chatted about the six essential items every new parent should have at home before baby comes, all available at the store! I love doing these segments, not only because they’re informative and helpful to mommies-to-be and new moms, but also because I love anything that keeps me connected to my TV/production career that I love so much! Therefore, any opportunity that gets me closer to that, is one I appreciate and cherish. The segment airs this Thursday at 12:30pm on Channel 6! Make sure to tune in, and I’ll include those six items (images as well) in next week’s blog post!
I’m gearing up for another big event this Saturday at The Falls Miami, where I’ll be moderating a ‘Fashion Workshop 101’ and talking all things maternity fashion through pregnancy. Bring your friends, bring your family because not only will there be great vendors and giveaways, it’s also FREE! 3pm. Don’t miss it!
Before I sign off for the night, I want to talk a little bit about friendships after pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Maya, I wrote a similar blog post about what happens to certain friendships after baby comes. At the time, I was living in the city and the first of my friends there to have a baby. Most of my friends who had kids were in Miami so I didn’t get to see them that often. I had already noticed some of my friendships were evolving and that’s expected, especially when your other friends weren’t in the kid bubble yet. Interests change. Conversations change. And while I still loved being with my friends and going out with them, it was just…different, particularly in the beginning after Maya arrived. You become that ‘roll-your-eye’ ridiculous parent you swore you wouldn’t be- the one that yaps incessantly about their baby, that parent that is so proud of every little thing, your new baby does (whether it’s a sneeze or a shart) that you have to post about it on Facebook. And even though you can still have meaningful conversations with your friends, there were just things they couldn’t comprehend or understand about the new and improved ‘mommy’ you. And that’s okay. How could they know? They didn’t have kids. And some of those friendships, while not strained, will organically shift and take on new forms. I was the same way before having kids so I understood the disconnect, but I also knew that I probably needed to find some mom friends in my neighborhood that I could openly and freely discuss without judgement every annoyingly adorable and amazing thing my baby did or didn’t do- like how long they did tummy time for without hysterically crying, or what formula and pacifier were trending in my house, or how teething was making me want to pull my hair out.
I hate making new friends. It sounds like a negative statement but hear me out. It’s not that I have a hard time making friends because that’s surely not the case, but because I feel like I already have an amazing group of great girlfriends (and Javy) that have been with me throughout so much of my life. I wasn’t really taking applications, but as a new mom, I knew I needed to make a few exceptions and step outside my comfort zone. I needed like-minded friends- ones that spoke baby fluently. I was fortunate enough to find a couple of wonderful mom friends in the city and that made all the difference in the world. The same applied when I moved back to Miami (even though I did have my lifelong best friends here, I live in downtown so I needed geographically desirable friends too). These new friendships were nurturing, cathartic, and fulfilling in ways I didn’t expect. It’s so reassuring to have those extra ears and those extra hugs when you want to laugh or cry about the perils and joys of parenthood. That’s not to say I let my other friendships fizzle. Those were the ones I injected the most effort into because we were on different paths of life. For me, my friends are my family. They mean the world to me and because of that familiar connection, I worked on those friendships the hardest. And though we don’t check in on each other every single day, they are still some of the strongest friendships I have.
And by the way, just wait until your kid goes to school! You’ll meet a whole clan of brand spankin’ new moms that might just hold some prospective candidates suitable for your growing circle of mom friends! Because finding new mom friends is a bit like dating. Some moms you’ll have nothing in common with no matter how hard you try to make it happen and those are the ones you dismiss because your time is valuable and you already know what you need in a mom companion. There has to be a ‘spark’, that thing makes you click instantly, where you can appreciate each other’s quirks without getting really annoyed or bored. Because once the ‘friend lust’ wears off, there’s got to be something substantial to sustain the relationship.
As your brood grows and your little ones get bigger, life just gets a little more complicated and your schedules and to-do lists seem to grow more and more out of control by the day. So when it comes to making time with friends, even mom friends, it requires extra planning on both ends and a pinch more effort. As an experienced parent (and when I say experienced, I mean I have one of those t-shirts that says, ‘I survived my first year of parenthood’) you don’t want to have too many expectations or feel that extra weight and pressure of having to make grand plans with friends. You soon learn that it becomes about quality over quantity. Sometimes running an errand with a friend, a quick cup of coffee, or even a play date, is the right time to catch up and swap a few stories before getting back to your life. A 15-20 minute conversation while you’re at the park with the kids, is an easy (and timesaving) way to reconnect with friends. There’s no need for big gesture planning weeks or months in advance. Not everyone has the time. We’re all busy. I mean, if you can swing it, go for it. But most of the time, all you need are those 10 minutes with a friend (who obviously understands the value of quality over quantity as well) to disconnect from the chaos to just simply say, ‘Hi. How are YOU doing. Tell me about your life. Did you see what SJP was wearing to the Met Gala?!”
So whether you’re an expecting mom, a new mom, or a seasoned mom, you need mom friends. You need a tribe of strong women to lift you up when you’re down, to act as unlicensed therapists, to push you to be the best woman you can be, and let’s face it, you need to laugh and let loose over a few bottles of wine because kids, husbands, and to-do lists will always find a way to drive you crazy. Because it really takes a village- a village of great friends – to raise a happy and sane supermom!